By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped on 8/1 in Wichita Falls, Texas
[Q1] Before the show even started, Aces and Eights were shown backstage harassing Mike Tenay. Taz told him he had the night off and told him to get out. Tenay beat it…The recap video aired, and the show opened with Aces and Eights coming to the ring. Jeremy Borash checked in on commentary.
Taz and Anderson went to ringside and harassed JB. Taz screamed that it was his desk and his show while Anderson pressed his face into JB's. Bully Ray cut a promo. He put over Tito Ortiz's debut and called him blondie. He told Ortiz to stay out of his way or he would knock him out. He turned his attention to Chris Sabin and complained that he and Devon should be respected enough to know who they were wrestling. He said ultimately it didn't matter because they would win tonight, and he would beat Sabin to be the two-time champion. He called Sabin out.
Sabin came out and said Ray was so full of it his eyes were brown and his breath smelled like "feces." He said he didn't introduce the hammer into the ring; he just gave Bully Ray a taste of his own medicine. He said he was going to beat Bully again at Hardcore Justice. Bully gave him the "blah blah" treatment and demanded Hogan come out with the contract.
Brooke Hogan came out instead and read a letter saying Ray missed a contract provision that said if he failed to win the re-match, he could never challenge for the title again. Ray said he wasn't going to get bullied by all of them. Brooke climbed in the ring and made a little dick joke on Ray and he signed the contract. I shit you not. Sabin signed and his music played to close the segment…
Shore's Slant: Brooke Hogan dick jokes, folks. That's what TNA has left, Brooke Hogan dick jokes. That was incredibly bad writing, Sabin looks like a featherweight standing next to Bully, both in size and in stature. Brooke's dick joke was lame, and they just telegraphed the finish to the match with the stupid stipulation. This whole Sabin as champion experiment is failing miserably, and I say that as someone who likes to watch Chris Sabin wrestle.
[Q2][C] 1. Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Hardy. Hardy started fast and knocked Joe to the floor. He hit a diving clothesline from the apron and got a "Hardy" chant going. Back in the ring, Joe hit a huge superkick to dump Hardy back to the floor and then hit a diving forearm…[C]
Back from commercial, Joe hit a senton on Hardy for two. Joe rolled the kickout into a STF and then a crossface into a rings of Saturn. Hardy made the ropes and started his comeback. He awkwardly dropped Joe on the reverse atomic drop and that led to Taz and Anderson going on and on about his "yam bag." Hardy hit a Twist of Fate for two.
Hardy tried for a corner splash and Joe caught him with one arm and slammed him down. He went for a muscle buster, but Hardy escaped and went for the Twist of Fate. Joe escaped and hooked a sleeper. Anderson stood up and Joe looked at him. That allowed Jeff to tackle Joe and stack him up for the win…
Jeff Hardy defeated Samoa Joe at 12:05 to earn 7 points in the Bound for Glory series.
[Q3] Backstage, Christopher Daniels said his relationship with Kazarian was buried in frustration right now. He said they were best friends, but even with friends there is always a captain and that was him. He said Kazarian needs to see that and stop being so selfish, but if he wouldn't, then Daniels would just have to prove it…[C]
Shore's Slant: An uninspiring match from Hardy and Joe, both worked hard, but it just never clicked for me. The finish was incredibly awkward. They tried to make it look like an Anderson interference, but it mostly made Joe look like a dope.
2. Mr. Anderson vs. Magnus. Magnus dumped Anderson to the floor in 45 seconds and beat him up all around the ring. Anderson suddenly reversed a whip into the stairs to take control. He slammed Magnus back into the apron and rolled him in the ring. Magnus hit a spinning slam to start his comeback. He caught Anderson on a crossbody and powered him up into a suplex.
[Q4] Magnus went to the top rope. Anderson caught him up there, but Magnus knocked him down. He went for an elbow drop, but Anderson moved. Anderson was setting up for something when Bobby Roode ran in with a chair. He hit Anderson with the chair twice and then patted Magnus on the back. The ref disqualified Magnus as a result…[C]
Mr. Anderson defeated Magnus by disqualification at 6:35. Magnus loses 10 points because of the disqualification. Mr. Anderson earns 3 points.
Shore's Slant: I've been wondering when (and who) we would see someone screw Magnus over with a -10 with the DQ rules considering his ridiculous lead in points. I guess Roode is just going to pull every dirty trick at every opportunity. That's so much better than just becoming a kick-ass heel again who can beat people. What a shame.
A video recapped what just happened. Backstage, Roode cut a promo saying he told everyone things were going to change, and they were. He said he took ten points away from the leader and that makes him a genius. He said it was just the beginning…
Backstage, Robbie E and Jesse talked about dumping Tara from their act. Mickie James walked in and told them she needed them to take care of the tag champs while she took care of ODB. They all talked at the same time and Mickie walked off…A video recapped the #August1Warning videos and Tito Ortiz's lackluster debut last week…[C]
Shore's Slant: What the hell was that with Mickie and the Bro-Mans? That didn't make ANY sense. Seriously, I have no idea what just happened. Holy cow!
Backstage, Sting and Kurt Angle bumped into Sabin and they all put each other over. Sabin said he needed a partner for his match tonight, but he had a plan and needed them to trust him. They agreed and they went off to conspire together…
[Q5] Tito Ortiz made his ring entrance and joined JB in the ring. Tito said the "million" of fans had a lot of questions, and he wasn't sure how many answers he had. Before he could say more, Kurt Angle's music hit and he came to the ring. He got in Tito's face and ran down his pedigree. He said he would respect Tito's space, but Tito better respect his. He asked if he was clear and Tito said "loud and clear."
Bully Ray came out to the ramp and said he didn't respect either of them. He said he could tap Tito out and he's been kicking Angle's ass for ten years. He did his "Do you know who I am? Gimmick and added he was the guy who would slap Tito across the face if he got in Ray's way. He stormed off and Angle left Ortiz in the ring…
Shore's Slant: The segment that did nothing. I guess we will get a better idea of who Tito is next week because all this did was keep things exactly where they are, as in no idea what Tito is doing there. That might be OK in general, but since we have no real reason to care what he is doing, giving us a hint would have been nice.
A video recapped the talking segment…Ring introductions occurred for the next match. Oh, it’s a six man match. Was that ever announced? Guess I missed it…
[Q6] 3. Bro-Mans and Mickie James vs. James Storm, Gunner, and ODB. Storm beat the crap out of Robbie until the ref got distracted and Storm got double teamed. Robbie face-washed Storm several times and then took a backstabber. Gunner got the hot tag and cleaned house. Mickie ran in and jumped on his back. ODB knocked her out of the ring. All four men ended up in the ring. Storm nearly kicked Jesse's head off and they hit a combo finisher on Robbie for the win…
James Storm, Gunner, and ODB defeated Bro-Mans and Mickie James at 4:16.
Backstage, Kazarian cut a promo on Daniels saying "poor Frankie" last week. He said Daniels has forgotten who he is. He said he has beaten Daniels more than once over the last 11 years. Kaz said it would be "poor Chris" tonight…[C]
Shore's Slant: Oh. My. God. Twice now Jesse Goddard has been creamed in the ring with Gunner and Storm. GO find the finish of this match and look at the superkick Storm hits on Jesse. My ears are ringing just from watching it. Wow.
Backstage, Team 3D argued over whether they had 23 or 24 tag title wins. They finally gave up and said they were going to destroy both Sabin and whoever his partner were…
4. Kazarian vs. Christopher Daniels in a BFG series match. They played even-steven for the first few minutes, trading arm-bars, headlocks, and roll-ups. Kazarian finally hit Daniels and they started shoving each other. They squared off for a moment, and then both men stepped out of the ring. They looked at Earl and he counted to ten to end the match…
Kazarian and Christopher Daniels fought to a double countout at 4:02. I have no idea what this means for points.
[Q7] As soon as the bell rang, Bobby Roode made his ring entrance with a chair in hand. Her looked at both men and then dropped the chair. He got in the ring and they joined him. Roode took a mic and said everyone has been talking about Aces and Eight, the MEM, Rampage and Tito. He said everyone had forgotten about them, but they were a new force, and one of them will win the BFG series and the title…[C]
Shore's Slant: OK, first of all, does this mean no one gets points in that match? TNA should do a better job of announcing that when they announce match decisions. (Actually they did apparently and both guys get 2 points.) Second, are we really going to have yet ANOTHER stable in TNA? Really? Why is Bobby Roode tied to the class clowns when he's so serious about winning the title? This show is an absolute mess right now.
Backstage, IQG tried to ask Tito again about why he was here and once again Tito said he didn't have many answers, but his fists might do some talking next week…
Shore's Slant: So Tito Ortiz can't even explain why he is in TNA. Well, at least it isn't just us.
A video hyped the clash between the MEM and Aces and Eights…Team 3D made their entrance. Sabin was out next and pointed to the back. Sting's music hit and the place went a little nuts. They started to get in the ring when Angle slid in the ring and attacked Ray and Devon from behind…
5. Devon and Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin and Kurt Angle. All four men fought like it was a tornado match and the babyfaces got the better.
[Q8] Sabin got in a few shots on Ray early, but Ray hit an elbow drop on his knee. He got Angle to distract the ref long enough for Devon to hit the diving headbutt on Sabin's nuts…[C]
Back from commercial, Sabin still took the heat from Devon. Bully tagged in and rained blows on Sabin while yelling at him about the championship. Sabin went for a kick, but Ray ducked and drove the knee into the mat. He and Devon continued to work on the knee as the announcers sold it as preparing for the title match next week.
Angle got the hot tag and cleaned house. He hit the Angle Slam on Ray for two and dropped the straps. Devon tried to interfere, but he took a clothesline. Ray hit a STO type move for two, but Angle hooked in the ankle lock. Devon broke it up and the match broke down. Sabin almost pinned Ray, but Devon broke it up.
Sabin got dumped to the ramp and Angle took a 3D. Devon set a table in the corner anmd Ray put Sabin buy it, He charged, but Sabin moved and Ray crashed into the table. Sabin dumped Devon from the ring and hit a high cross body for the win. He and Angle celebrated to close the show…
Chris Sabin and Kurt Angle defeated Devon and Bully Ray at 16:39.
Shore's Slant: The match itself was OK, but you have to believe that Booking 101 is in play here. Ray isn't going to get locked out of the title picture, and Sabin got to go over Ray here. So this has to mean they get this thing back on track with a Ray win next week, right? It's already watered down the storyline, but I think it's salvageable if they get the strap back on Bully Ray.
This was a very weak episode of Impact, and the creative of the show has really lost its way. It wasn't all that long ago that I felt pretty good about TNA's direction, but I don't know that I could feel worse right now. It's bad and shows no signs of getting better. At least no Hulk Hogan on this show. I'll be interested not only to see what the ratings are, but how any change in the ratings might get spun. Jason Powell and Will Pruett will have more tomorrow. Thanks for watching along.
Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.
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8/8 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: Chris Sabin and a mystery partner vs. Team 3D, more from Tito Ortiz, Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe in one of three Bound for Glory series matches
Aug 8, 2013 - 08:00 PM
Aug 8, 2013 - 08:00 PM
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