5/8 Twilling's TNA Impact Live Coverage: Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash vs. Kurt Angle and Scott Steiner, Deuce's Wild Tournament

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL

[Q1] The opening video aired. Fireworks lit up the Impact Zone. Mike Tenay immediately plugged the main event at Sacrifice, followed by tonight’s main event.

Jim Cornette stood in the middle of the ring with the TNA tag team titles and a fishbowl with names in it. He called out the Egotistical Eight. Each one of them came out to their music.

Cornette said all of them called him to ask who their partner was, except for Sting. Cornette drew the first name, which was Sting. Sting drew the next name, his partner, James Storm.

Storm told Sting he was not his friend, his buddy, and does not want to be his partner. Sting attacked Storm and both men went at it. Storm retreated from the ring. Cornette announced that two teams would be drawn, and the partners would face each other one on one tonight. He made Sting vs. Storm in a no DQ match for tonight…

Twill’s Two Cents: Could you imagine getting a phone call from Sting? Imagine if he got your voice mail. “Hey, this is Sting…” I have always loved the way TNA makes all of their titles important (okay, not the X Division title right now). This tournament, in my opinion, is a stupid idea, but at least the titles look very important.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash waited for Scott Steiner’s arrival. Steiner, Petey Williams, and Rhaka Khan emerged from their limousine. Steiner said he and Angle would work together tonight.

Angle approached Steiner and told him they were going to take out Joe. Angle said he would win the title at Sacrifice and give Steiner a one on one title match. Steiner said they had a deal… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Did Steiner just agree to not win the title at the PPV?

A Sacrifice advertisement aired coming back from commercial. I hate the “Cross the Line” slogan…

[Q2] Tenay introduced a video for “Terror Dome,” which will debut this Sunday. It is a combination cage and Ultimate X. It looks cool I guess. Tenay said TNA has reinvented the wrestling wheel…

1. Jimmy Rave (with Lance Hoyt and Christy Hemme) defeated Petey Williams, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Johnny Devine, and Sharkboy in a non-title match in 7:35. The announcers put over the Terror Dome X Division ten man match at the PPV. He said the wrestlers could be putting their lives on the line. West said it was best explained to him as, “Six sides of steel meets Elevation X.”

Twill’s Two Cents: Thanks for that bombshell Don. That is exactly how the narrator of the video described it.

Creed started with Devine. This is a six way where tags are required. Creed hit a nice high cross body. Curry Man tagged in, followed by Sharkboy, who hit a Thesz Press. Petey tagged in and jumped over the top and hit a Codebreaker in one motion.

Devine came back in; he and Jimmy Rave traded off delivering punishment to Sharkboy. Devine went to the top and missed a 450 splash. He hit on his knees. Ouch.

Devine tagged Rave as Curry Man received the hot tag. He took care of everyone. He set up Rave in the corner. Petey came in and Curry threw him into the same corner. He hit a high cross body for a nearfall.

Petey, from the ring, jumped over the top and hit a hurricarana. Sweet. The ring was cleared of everyone. Creed and Sharkboy ended up in the ring. Creed cleared the ring, and then hit a summersault plancha onto Curry and Sharkboy.

Everyone hit their finishers. Curry Man and Rave survived the exchange. Hemme distracted the referee. Hoyt grabbed Curry Man, allowing Rave to hit “The Move that Rocks the World” for the pin…

Twill’s Two Cents: Nice, athletic match. This was about par for the course. Everyone fit their high spots in and the crowd was entertained.

Backstage, Borash interviewed Sting. He said Storm would fall into place as they were going to do it “old school.” After they fight out their differences, they are going to become tag champs at the PPV… [C]

[Q3] Back from commercial, West plugged TNA live events. Remember the old WWF “Event Center” with Sean Mooney?

A video aired showcasing LAX, and the impressive display they have put on during their tenure in TNA. It is funny listening to the narrator say things like “Crackerjack” and “Gringo Killer.” They showed highlights of LAX’s recruitment of Hector Guerrero…

In case you were lost, there are four established teams in the tournament. The other four teams are the random pairings using the Egotistical Eight…

Backstage, Crystal was backstage with Cornette, along with all of the TNA Knockouts. He said, “you are making more static than a two dollar I-Pod.” He put them into an “Immunity Match.” The winner will be exempt from having their head shaved.


Cornette explained the rules. It is basically a “hair clippers on a pole match.” Cornette told them to get him ratings and at the PPV, one of them would be shaven, because that is what the fans paying for the show want to see… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Absolutely. I will be buying the PPV to see one of these women get their head shaved. I remember buying Wrestlemania XX to see Molly Holly be shaved bald.

Back from commercial, they plugged TNA live events. Backstage, Christian Cage and Rhino were interviewed with JB. JB called them the favorites on Sunday. Cage said he and Rhino have been together, they have fought each other, and to “do the math” regarding them being the favorites.

Team 3D came into the picture. Cage asked Brother Devon if he needed a bra. Brother Ray threw out a bunch of equations equaling twenty, the number of championship reigns they are going to have. Ray said twenty was also the number of times Devon nailed Christian’s wife.

[Q4] A brawl ensued as Tenay and West screamed at us. It was pretty physical. All of a sudden, Hernandez came into the picture and hit the Border Toss on Christian. LAX said they were the favorites and the future of tag team wrestling… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: It was hard for me to take this seriously because Rhino was wearing flip-flops. Ray called Christian and Rhino “nobodies.” Hmmm, they were both TNA World Heavyweight Champions, something Ray will never sniff.

Just in case you just tuned in, they showed highlights of the brawl leading to the last commercial break. Tenay and West plugged Sting vs. Storm, as well as Joe and Nash vs. Angle and Steiner…

2. Gail Kim defeated ODB, Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Traci Brooks, Jacqueline, Salinas, Christy Hemme, and Roxxi Laveaux in an Immunity Match in 5:15. After about an hour of entrances, the match finally started. As expected, all hell broke loose.

Tenay said, “That pole is going to be a magnet for these knockouts.” I will leave that one alone. Traci was the first one close to the shears. Gail stopped her, but Traci hit a faceplant on Gail from the top rope.

ODB headed up the pole as Jacqueline chased and was promptly kicked off. Salinas stopped Jacqueline. Salinas hit a bad tornado DDT on Roxxi. The Beautiful People worked together and slammed Salinas from the top.

Christy tried the FFG instead of going for the shears. Traci headed up again. ODB caught her and hit a fallaway slam from the top rope. Roxxi hit the Voodoo Drop on Salinas.

[Q5] Christy was at the top. Gail and ODB went after her. The Beautiful People, from underneath, hit superplexes as all five crashed to the mat. After everyone was clear of the ring, Jacqueline went for the shears.

ODB hit an Electric Chair on Jacqueline. Gail Kim used the opening to climb the pole and grab the shears for the win…

Backstage, Joe, with Nash behind him, called Nash his insurance policy. He said Angle and Steiner should bring bats and pipes. He said he would die before he gave up the belt. Nash said Joe has the intangibles…

Twill’s Two Cents: The women had a great match. Multi person matches such as these usually get ugly, but it was a fun, competitive match. Gail winning is good because she has beautiful hair. As for Nash, West kept making the point that Joe could trust him, so that means he will turn on Joe.

West plugged Sting vs. Storm in an no DQ match after the commercial… [C]

3. Sting defeated James Storm in 5:14. Sting attacked Storm in the aisle. He threw him into the crowd and followed him. Storm walked the rail and hit a double axe handle on Sting. Sting threw Storm through a wall. He then repeated the action.

Sting threw Storm back into the ring area. Storm spit beer in Sting’s face, and rammed his head into the steps. Storm threw Sting in the ring, followed by a table.

Storm set up the table in the corner. Sting missed a top rope move. Storm hit the referee on accident with a superkick. Jacqueline brought a chair to Storm. He missed at first, but was able to hit Sting with the chair. He scored a very nearfall.

Storm missed a Stinger Splash. Sting hit one himself, followed by a top rope splash. He scored a nearfall. Sting grabbed the bat from Jacqueline, hit Storm, and hit the Scorpion Death Drop.

Instead of going for the cover, he set Storm up against the table and hit the Stinger Splash through Storm and the table. He then hit another Scorpion Death Drop for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: Good match. I thought the personal level of hatred these two have came out in their moves. I like how Sting passed up the pin to deliver more punishment. I did not like how the announcers were upset with Storm for using weapons in a no DQ match.

Backstage, JB interviewed Kip James. James he had three partners with whom he has had title reigns and that he made DX, not “the redneck, the glad he has a heartbeat kid, Waltman, or that big nosed, water spitting piece of …” James called himself the megastar and he would become one half of the tag champs again… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Let it go!!! You are lucky to have a job. Comments like this make TNA look very second rate.

[Q6] Back from commercial, they plugged Slammiversary (not a typo). Cornette stood in the middle of the ring, again with the belts and fishbowl. He brought out the remaining six of the Egotistical Eight. Once again, every one of them came out to their entrance music.

Cornette drew Matt Morgan’s name. Morgan drew the next envelope. His partner was revealed to be Kip James. James got on the stick and told Morgan to follow him. Morgan told Kip to “suck it” as he gave him a crotch chop.

They brawled as Cornette called for security. Then Cornette said to let them fight and he rang the bell to start the match right now.

4. Matt Morgan defeated Kip James in 5:47.Morgan sent James to the floor as the show went to commercial… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Didn’t I see that exact same segment at the beginning of the show, except for Sting and Storm playing the starring roles?

Back from commercial, Morgan was on the offensive. He hit a headbutt, but then charged, missed, and crotched himself on the top rope. James took the advantage and grounded Morgan back in the ring.

Morgan hit a series of closelines, followed by a sideslam for a nearfall. Kip missed a splash in the corner. Morgan hit a huge kick for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: That was ugly. Good thing there was a commercial in the middle of it. Kip jumped for the corner splash long after Morgan already moved.

[Q7] Backstage, BG James said all three of his possible partners are impressive. He put them all over. He said Awesome Kong would be a welcome change, and she is the only person he would look good standing next to… [C]

Tenay called the card for Sacrifice “one of the most intriguing lineups on PPV ever.” That is high praise. They ran down the card for Sacrifice. They are calling the main event the biggest three-way match in TNA history. I seem to remember a certain X Division Title Match…

Backstage, JB asked Steiner and Angle if they could make it work tonight. They gave the same promo as they did earlier. Angle called Steiner “Musclehead.” Steiner said anything Kurt could do, he could do better. They started to push each other.

Petey Williams stepped in and said they do not like each other because they are so alike. He said they have “Olympic gold medal bodies.” He said they only needed ten minutes, maybe less, to dispose of Joe… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Petey was hilarious here.

Back from commercial, Tenay introduced a video showcasing the recent history between Joe, Angle, and Steiner. During the video, Steiner could be heard saying TNA is the only place he has not been a world champion. Does anyone else remember his reign as WWE Champion? Me neither.

[Q8] 5. Scott Steiner (with Rhaka Khan) and Kurt Angle defeated Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash in 6:00. After Joe’s entrance, West again emphasized the fact that Joe could trust Kevin Nash. It actually would be a swerve if he did not turn…[C]

Nash and Angle began in the ring. Angle hit Nash in the face, but that pissed him off. He used his power, and a short closeline and score a nearfall. Tenay pointed out for the second time that Rick Steiner would be in attendance at Sacrifice.

Joe tagged in and continued the advantage on Angle, before tagging Nash back in. Angle was able to tag in Steiner, and Nash hit him with a big boot. Steiner hit a low blow on Nash. Steiner knocked Joe from the apron.

Steiner and Angle used heel tag team tactics to work on Nash. Joe distracted the referee, allowing the double-teaming to continue. Steiner dropped Nash with a closeline and jawed at Joe.

Angle hit a belly to back suplex on Nash for a nearfall. He applied a rear chin lock. Nash attempted a comeback; they traded punches before Nash hit the sideslam.

Nash tried to get to Joe to tag him. Angle stopped him. Nash tagged Joe but Steiner was distracting Earl Hebner. Hebner tried to stop Joe from coming in, but he came in anyway and absolutely kicked the crap out of both men.

Joe hit running powerslams on both opponents. As he fought them both off, Angle snuck up and hit an Olympic Slam. Angle went to the middle rope and jumped at Nash. Nash caught him and attempted a chokeslam.

Steiner attacked Nash from behind with a pipe. Angle hit an Olympic Slam on Nash. Steiner snuck in and stole the pin. After the match, Steiner was posing in the corner. Angle snuck up and hit an Olympic Slam on him. He followed that up with the ankle lock as Steiner tapped out.

They aired a video hyping the Sacrifice PPV, featuring mini promos from a lot of the superstars… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: What happened to Joe after the match? Where is the focus on him? The match was predictable, but it put over the conflict between Angle and Steiner. However, the focus should have been on Joe, as he is the champion.

Despite the utter lack of logic, I actually enjoyed the show tonight. Did you? Tell me what you thought. Rich Twilling can be reached at dotnetrich@gmail.com.