5/29 Twilling's TNA Impact Live Coverage: Christian Cage vs. Tomko, Rhino vs. James Storm in KOTM Quaifiers, A.J. Styles to get revenge?, Roxxi Laveaux vs. Angelina Love

TNA Impact on Spike TV
Taped in Orlando, FL

[Q1] A video aired of last week’s events involving Kurt and Karen Angle. The vicious and bloody beatdown of A.J. Styles was shown, capped with Kurt Angle landing the final chairshot and proclaiming the whole thing being Karen’s fault…

The opening video aired. Mike Tenay and Don West welcomed us to the show. They plugged A.J. Styles having big news regarding Karen Angle, as well as two King of the Mountain qualifying matches…

Team 3D and Booker T. came out to the ring for a promo. Brother Ray called himself, Devon, and Booker “the bad guys.” He said Tomko was in the back and Kurt Angle was in Hollywood. They lowered a blown up shot of an A.J. Styles trading card.

West and Ray plugged the trading card series. Ray called the card a collector’s item because Styles is nowhere to be found. Ray called Styles the real bad guy, because he steals wives. Ray said Styles slept with Karen while the children were asleep in their beds.

Booker took the mic and said there is a “failure of communications.” Booker said he is royalty and the locker room was full of rodents. He said everyone would bow down and kiss his feet, especially Samoa Joe.

LAX interrupted (finally) the promo. LAX actually comes out through the Italian flag, not the Mexican flag. Hector Guerrero said LAX wanted Team 3D right now. Christian Cage’s music hit and he came out flanked by Rhino.

“What the hell have you been smokin’ Bob Marley?” asked Christian towards Booker. Christian humorously mocked Booker’s “Five time…” catchphrase. Cage said you are nothing until you are the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

[Q2] Samoa Joe’s music hit and he stood up in the crowd, wearing his new t-shirt. Joe said he would walk into and out of the PPV as champion. Booker played an air violin. If anyone saw Tony Soprano do it, no one does it better. Joe called Booker a punk ass cheap shot bitch.

Joe said he, LAX, Christian and Rhino should beat down Team 3D and Booker worse than they beat A.J. last week. The bad guys retreated up the ramp. Styles snuck up behind them and hit them with chairshots.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash interviewed Karen Angle. She thanked God A.J. was okay and she had no idea what Styles had to say to her… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: That was the longest segment in the history of wrestling television. If it wasn’t, it sure seemed like it. I think they crammed every single upper midcard and main event program into that segment. Cage was funny here. Joe was solid. Ray is actually a good promo guy but he is not that important. Booker should never pick up a microphone again. Styles should have sold the beating by being out for at least this week.

Back from commercial, Lauren interviewed Ace Young, Jay Lethal, SoCal Val, and Sonjay Dutt. Dutt told Lethal it is not too late to back out. Ace Young looked like a complete jackass…

Lauren tried to leave the interview area, but Awesome Kong pulled her back by the hair. Raisha Saeed said something about the fan challenge but I could not understand her…

1. Black Machismo and Sonjay Dutt (with SoCal Val and Ace Young) defeated The Rock ‘N Rave Infection (with Christy Hemme) in 3:21. Hermie Sadler joined Tenay and West at ringside. At 1:08, Lethal hit a sweet hip toss/handstand/dropkick combination on Hoyt.

[Q3] Rave and Hoyt used frequent tags and doubleteaming to control Dutt. Dutt countered a chokeslam into a hurricarana. Both Christy Hemme and Ace Young tripped up members of both teams and Lethal rolled up Rave for the pin…

After the match, Lethal said he something to ask Dutt as they went to commercial… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Decent three minute match although there was not much to it. Once again, TNA inexplicably goes to commercial at a very awkward time.

Back in the ring, Lethal teased about asking Dutt about his bad attitude. Instead, he asked him to accept his offer to be the best man. Dutt accepted. Ace Young took the mic and introduced an awful music video featuring Lethal and Val in the bedroom and in the ring…

Twill’s Two Cents: Val is hot and that was still beyond terrible. I bet Jason Powell is wishing about now that he had me review the show solo tonight.

Tenay said Young was an American Idol season five finalist. Well, that season sucked…

Lauren interviewed The Beautiful People. Lauren said Love and Sky give all women a bad name. They put a brown paper bag over Lauren’s head and she took off. Angelina was appalled at having to be in the same ring as Roxxi Laveaux. Love said, “Don’t hate our beauty, hate the game.” Velvet said beauty would slay the beast. She reminded everyone they could look, but not touch as she kissed the camera lens… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Did Angelina Love steal a catchphrase from Booker T. of all people? That bad judgment aside, these two are money.

[Q4] 2. Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) defeated Roxxi Laveaux in 3:27. Tenay could not believe they gave the brown bag treatment to someone as beautiful as Lauren. Is he saying it is okay to do it to an ugly girl?

Roxxi ran to the ring and started punching Love wildly. After about a minute, she went after Velvet, who ran through the ring and allowed Love to gain the advantage. Love hit a sweet front alternating kick.

Roxxi hit a modified fallaway slam. She knocked Velvet from the apron. She went for the Voodoo Drop but took a sick knee to the face. Velvet sprayed something in Roxxi’s eyes. Love hit her finisher for the win.

They attacked Roxxi after the match. ODB and Gail Kim (on crutches) came out. ODB grabbed a crutch and cleared the ring of the heels…

Twill’s Two Cents: Good match. The women’s matches as well as the storylines continue to be a bright spot on the show.

Backstage, Jim Cornette chewed out JB for going along with Kong’s fan challenge from last week. JB had the “ratings” and it showed that segment did the highest numbers.

Booker and Team 3D entered and Booker basically gave the same promo he gave earlier in the show, complaining about the locker room. He said he was going to dress in Cornette’s office. Cornette headed to the ring and told them it would be best if they were not there when he returned… [C]

Back from commercial, Eric Young is still searching for Elvis. He was in a studio playing with drums and a piano. He said he was going to Elvis’s house…

[Q5] Jim Cornette stood in the middle of the ring and called Slammiversary one of the biggest PPVs of all time. He announced Kurt Angle vs. A.J. Styles and a tag team championship match between LAX and Team 3D for the PPV. He told Booker T. not to be in his office…

Kevin Nash came out. Nash asked Cornette what he was going to do if Booker and Team 3D did not leave? He said the security could not keep order at a Jonas Brothers concert. A bunch of little girls screamed.

Nash offered to clear out Cornette’s office if he made Nash the special enforcer in the KOTM match at the PPV. Cornette asked him why. Nash said the people should have to pay for that answer. The two sealed the deal…

The latest Abyss video aired. He said he could come home in ten days and he is fully cured now. He is no longer a danger to himself and he will return to society…

JB, Kong, and Saeed came out to the ring… [C]

Twill’s Two Cents: Powell wondered if TNA was starting a New World Order type faction. Well, who better to lead it than Kevin Nash? I fear Booker may be getting the belt.

Back from commercial, Lela Bates took Kong’s fan challenge. There were four choices and she was clearly the most logical.

3. Awesome Kong defeated Lela Bates in 2:22. Bates ran around the ring but Kong finally caught her. Kong dragged her outside and continued to beat her up. Back in the ring, she played around for a minute before hitting the Awesome Bomb for the win. Bates took the move awkwardly…

Twill’s Two Cents: This gimmick could be interesting for awhile, but something needs to come of it, like Kim or ODB dressing up as a fan and giving Kong a challenge.

Backstage, Kevin Nash approached Team 3D and Booker T. Devon said it was three against one. Nash took out a bat and started swinging it. The heels took off. Nash said it was just business…

[Q6] They aired a history package of Rhino vs. James Storm. They cut the video short because Rhino and Storm were brawling backstage. Rhino had the advantage until Jacqueline hit him with a shovel. Security came and broke it up… [C]

4. Rhino defeated James Storm (with Jacqueline) in a King of the Mountain qualifying match in 6:52. They were fighting to the ring coming back from commercial. Not sure if the match has actually started yet. Rhino suplexed Storm on the ramp and chased Jacqueline away.

Finally the match officially started. Storm slowed down the pace with a knee to the back/chinlock resthold. Storm hit a sweet kick from the apron. He hit a knee buster/reverse neck breaker combination. Rhino was draped over the middle rope and Jacqueline attacked him… [C]

A commercial for One Night Stand aired. Back from commercial, Rhino was in control with big closelines, elbows, and a shoulderblock. He went for the Gore but missed; Storm hit the Last Call. Rhino fell to the floor.

Storm rolled his dead weight into the ring for a very nearfall. He went for another Last Call but he missed and Rhino hit the Gore for the win. Storm sold the move like he was shot out of a cannon…

Twill’s Two Cents: Good, physical match, but nothing spectacular. I like how they used their past hatred to have a match indicative of that hatred.

[Q7] They aired a video of the past relationship between Christian Cage and Tomko, including when Tomko and Styles turned on Cage to join Kurt Angle…

JB interviewed Tomko lifting weights on a circuit machine. He said he had no remorse about Styles and would wear Cage’s blood this week. He said Christian was dead… [C]

5. Christian Cage defeated Tomko in a King of the Mountain qualifying match in 11:01. Cage posed in the corner but Tomko attacked him from behind. He then choked him with his entrance jacket. The first minute was a very athletic sequence of moves and counters. Christian, who was on the top rope, took a huge boot and fell to the floor… [C]

Tomko hit a powerslam for a nearfall at just before five minutes into the match. Tenay said no incumbent champion has retained in the history of King of the Mountain. Tomko hit a gorilla press into a fallaway slam.

[Q8] Tomko hit a delayed vertical suplex at 7:00. Christian kept fighting back, but Tomko continuously overpowered him. Christian, on the second rope, slapped Tomko and hit a tornado DDT. Both men were down.

Christian hit an inverted DDT. He tried but missed a frogsplash. Tomko nearly won the match with a huge closeline. Tomko reversed the Unprettier into a two handed chokeslam for a nearfall. Christian hit a frogsplash but could not get the pin.

Tomko hit a torture rack slam. Tomko went for a boot but Christian countered with an Unprettier attempt. Tomko lifted Christian to his shoulders, but Christian slipped out and finally hit the Unprettier for the win…

Twill’s Two Cents: Very good match. These two worked very hard. The multiple nearfalls and counters were very crisp and well done. This was definitely the in ring highlight of TNA in the past few weeks.

Backstage, JB asked A.J. what he wanted to say to Karen. Styles said he would say it in the ring. A shot of Kurt Angle walking backstage was shown… [C]

Back from commercial, Karen Angle came to the ring, microphone in hand. Styles was supposed to be next, but Kurt Angle was beating Styles up backstage, in a suit. He left Styles laying and came to the ring. He grabbed the microphone from Karen.

Kurt yelled at Karen to tell the whole world that she cheated on him with A.J. He was about to call her either a hooker or a whore, but before he could, Karen slapped him. Kurt looked like he was going to attack Karen, but Styles came down and beat on Kurt.

Team 3D, Tomko, and Booker T. came down and started beating on Styles. Christian Cage came down but the numbers game was too much for the two. West said the sad thing was that we did not hear the announcement. I guess he is right, although from his point of view, the sad thing should be the beatdown. “The Bad Guys” celebrated in the ring as Styles and Christian remained laid out…

Twill’s Two Cents: Last week I questioned the whereabouts of LAX and Samoa Joe during the Styles beating. This week, they alluded during the first segment that they would all band together to take out Angle’s crew. So, Christian comes out to help Styles, but Joe and LAX do not? That makes little to no sense. I am intrigued though by the heel faction, as long as they keep it fresh and have someone that can match up with them.

What was your opinion of the show? Let me know. Rich Twilling can be reached at dotnetrich@gmail.com.