By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Aired live from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida.
[Q1] Backstage, Ethan Carter, Bro-mans, and Rockstar Spud al walked up on Bobby Roode and blamed him for what happened Sunday. Roode told Carter to blame his aunt because her insurance policy. Bully Ray, screwed them. Roode said since Dixie wasn't there to take responsibility they should punish the insurance policy… A video recapped the two terrible main events from Lockdown…
Mike Tenay and Taz checked in on commentary… MVP made his ring entrance and put over his team's win and his taking over of wrestling operations. MVP said Bully Ray would explain later why he did what he did. MVP said his approach to wrestling operations was to motivate the talent, validate what they do, and participate if they give him a hard time.
Magnus's music cut him off and he made his ring entrance. The crowd went mild. Magnus said the MVP principle was a joke. MVP asked if it was more of a joke than his title run. The fans finally started a "You suck" chant to give Magnus a little heat. Magnus said Dixie dropped the ball, but he kicked it through the uprights when he retained his title. He said he was more powerful than ever and introduced his new insurance policy, Abyss.
Shore's Slant: We never heard the term "insurance policy" the whole time Direct Auto was a sponsor and now we get it twice in eight minutes.
Abyss made his entrance and he had a new mask. He looked like a Romulan on Halloween. The crowd chanted "You sold out" and Magnus said he agreed. He said he didn’t look at Abyss as a freak like Jim Mitchel or Eric Young did. He said Abyss was a powerhouse and he was motivated by money too. Magnus said they all had that in common.
MVP said Magnus was getting his "English ass kicked" until he pulled the monster "literally" out of his ass.
Shore's Slant: NO IT WAS NOT LITERALLY!
MVP said he couldn’t continue until he brought out the number one contender, Samoa Joe. Joe made his entrance selling his ribs/gut hurting. Joe meekly stood there as MVP said Joe wasn't killing them because he believed in the MVP principle and knew MVP would do the right thing. He announced Magnus vs. Joe for the title for next week and Joe vs. Abyss for right now…
Shore's Slant: Magnus has absolutely no real heat from that crowd. It was go away heat when there was anything. They have completely ruined him and his title run is completely meaningless. Abyss looks stupid in the new mask. This is not a great start to the show. And sorry about the "literally" thing. It’s a pet peeve.
1. Samoa Joe vs. Abyss. MVP called for the bell and Joe attacked…
[Q2][C] Abyss was in control after the break as Tenay and Taz talked about the debuting Brittany and Dixie's meltdown after Lockdown. Joe started his comeback, but Abyss shut it down and got Janice. EY ran out and hit a missile dropkick on Abyss for the DQ…
Samoa Joe defeated Abyss by disqualification at 9:16.
Abyss took a few moves and then rolled to the floor and stared off with EY… Backstage, Jeremy Borash was waiting for Bully Ray. He looked of screen and asked what that person was doing there. Angelina Love walked onscreen and asked JB if he missed her before sashaying off…[C]
Shore's Slant: Well hello there Angelina. It's cool to see her back, and she won’t hurt things, but talent is not the problem with the Knockouts, the storytelling is. I'm so over EY and Abyss at this point that I'm not sure what to say. That ship sailed long ago and I have no desire to see this continue.
Backstage, JB was still looking for Ray when the camera spun to Willow who cut his weird ass promo… Brittany made her ring entrance as a video introduced her. She put over Madison Rayne as her influence.
[Q3] Gail Kim was out next…
2. Brittany vs. Gail Kim (w/Lei'D Tapa). Gail dropped Brittany at the bell. Brittany fought back and Tapa tried to interfere but hit Kim instead. For some reason, the ref allowed the match to continue. Brittany rolled up Kim for the win…
Brittany defeated Gail Kim at 2:01.
Post-match, Kim shoved Tapa. Tapa shoved her down and they brawled with Tapa getting the best until refs ran out to break it up… Backstage, Bully Ray arrived and Spud said he was going to pay for what happened. Bro-Mans and EC3 attacked him from behind and beat him down. Roode walked up and yelled at Ray while Spud choked him with own chain. Roode finished it by hitting him with a whiteboard while screaming that no one screws Bobby Roode…[C]
Shore's Slant: Lackluster debut for Brittany and her win was instantly forgotten once the brawl between Kim and Tapa started. Way to bury a girl on the way in. Also, Dot Net members already knew Angelina Love was returning tonight because our Member's Exclusive story on it. Don’t miss out on any more insider news. Sign-up now for Dot Net Membership via the Dot Net Members' Signup Page.
DJ Z annoyed me and the crowd before introducing the BroMans. Tigre Uno and new X Division Champion Sanada made their ring entrance. A video showed Great Muta telling Sanada that he represented all of the Japanese wrestling industry. No pressure there…
[Q4] 2. BroMans vs. Tigre Uno and Sanada. BroMans got in a second of offense and then it was all Uno and Sanada. Sanada hit a moonsault for the win…
Tigre Uno and Sanada defeated BroMans at 2:46.
Backstage, Bully recovered and picked up his chain…[C]
Shore's Slant: Why would you randomly put Tigre Uno and Sanada together, especially when you need to get Sanada over as you undercard champion? What a weird booking decision.
Backstage, Madison and Velvet Sky talked and Madison asked what they were going to do about Angelina. Velvet was surprised to hear she was back… The BroMans complained in their locker room about losing. Ray walked in and beat the shit out of all of them and calmly walked out…
Backstage, Sam Shaw thanked someone off camera for helping him at Lockdown. He said, "You inspired me Christie" and asked her to accompany him to the ring tonight when he ends Ken Anderson. He saw the camera man at that point and asked if he had a problem as he closed on the camera… Willow was shown in the rafters… EC3 and Spud got ready to go honor Dixie and revealed a giant picture of her…[C]
Shore's Slant: A lot of talking there. Madison knowing and Velvet not was weird. Ray beating up BroMans was a cool visual. Shaw is just plain weird. And the giant Dixie poster made me roll my eyes. This "ceremony" is probably going to be pretty bad.
Backstage, Joe found EY and chewed him out for interfering in his match and told him to stay out of his business. EY said this was his fault and he was going to fix it. Joe told him to go ahead. EY said he already talked to MVP and he would be chained to Abyss next week while Joe faced Magnus…
[Q5] EC3 and Spud made their entrance as still photos recapped Ray's babyface turn and MVP's win at Lockdown. Spud cut a whining promo about Dixie not being there anymore. The crowd chanted "Dixie's lapdog" and "Boring." He called EC3 a "beautiful and supple young man." He said something about Dixie picking him up like baby Jesus or something. It was a crazy promo. He started crying and thanked Dixie.
A Dixie hype video aired. Spud started quoting lines from "Look away Dixieland." MVP's music cut him off and he came to the ring. MVP said this was ridiculous, but he was impressed at how loyal Spud was to Dixie and he could use a guy like him on the roster. Spud said he couldn’t be a wrestler because he was Chief of Staff.
MVP said Spud wasn't that anymore, he had to be a wrestler. Spud said the guys in the back, and even some of the Knockouts, were bigger than him. MVP talked Spud up and Spud agreed to a match. MVP said it was with Willow. Spud freaked out and EC3 laughed. MVP called him C3PO and said next week he would face "this man," Bobby Lashley.
Lashley made his entrance and EC3 said Lashley wasn't on the roster. MVP said that was true, so that's why his first official move was to sign Lashley. Spud went crazy and poked at Lashley. Lashley took the giant Dixie poster and knocked Spud down with it. Spud grabbed it and cuddled with it. Lashley and EC3 stared off until Lashley's face changed and EC3 ran.
[Q6] JB interviewed EC3 as he came through the curtain. EC3 said he was going to destroy Lashley's knee like he did Angel's. Ray attacked out of nowhere and then beat him to death with a piece of cardboard…[C]
Shore's Slant: That was terrible. All of it. Spud was humorous to some degree I guess, but the rest was just boring. And Ray's cardboard coming apart to show that it was cardboard was tragic. EC3 vs. Lashley is a bad idea. Carter is still trying to establish himself in the ring, and Lashley needs to re-establish himself. Neither man needs a cheap win or loss here. They both need clean wins.
Shaw started to make his entrance and then went back for his mannequin. Anderson made his entrance next and Shaw attacked before Anderson could do his entrance gimmick…
3. Sam Shaw vs. Ken Anderson in a street fight. Shaw had early control as the fought into the ring. Anderson fought back and started playing with the mannequin. Shaw freaked out. Anderson threw the mannequin at him and then hit the Mic Check off the distraction for the win…
Ken Anderson defeated Sam Shaw in a street fight at 3:54.
Post-match, Anderson did his announcing gimmick and repeated his name in the mannequin's face… Backstage, Angelina Love told the camera men they were about to find out why she was back…[C]
Shore's Slant: So you job out your new creepy heel character in a sub-four minute street fight? Whatever, Nobody in this company has any idea how to book heels.
The announce team hyped the upcoming tour with the pre-show headlined by the heels… Another Willow, uh, vignette I guess, played. He just walked with music playing and the camera blurred around the edges… A Kenny King video aired…
[Q7] Angelina Love made her entrance. She said she thought she might never hear that music again, but it was great to be back home in TNA. She said she had grown wiser while she was gone. She said her dad told her you don’t know what you've got, till it’s gone. OK, those weren't the exact words but that's the same idea and I like hair metal. Angelina said she didn't understand that, but she does now and called out Velvet.
Velvet made her entrance and hugged Angelina. Angelina said she wanted to get the Beautiful People back together. Velvet said she had to think about it. Angelina asked what the problem was. Velvet said she just needed more time… Bully Ray walked around backstage… Willow did too…[C]
Shore's Slant: That started out OK and then jumped the track bad. The fans just sat there, and Velvet's answer really didn't make any sense. I think I need to go back and watch that because it sure does feel like something was missing there.
Spud was in the ring. Willow made his entrance and the camera had effects in it during the entrance…
[Q8] 4. Rockstar Spud vs. Willow. Willow tied Spud in the Tree of Woe and got his umbrella. He hit Spud in the nuts causing the DQ…
Rockstar Spud defeated Willow by disqualification at 2:24.
Willow hit Twist of Fate on the ref and put a chair and ladder in the ring. He hit a front suplex on Spud, put the leg in the chair and stomping on it, followed by a leg drop off the top rope. Willow started to leave as Ray made his entrance. They looked at each other and then continued on their paths…
Shore's Slant: The Willow character still makes no sense to me. Spud also came across slightly sympathetic here, and I'm not sure that was what they were going for. Part of it was how Taz called it. Part of it is that shitty crowd.
Ray cut a promo saying he woke up when Anderson gave him the mic check into the coffin. He said he was going to explain himself but all these guys made it physical. He said he saved Roode from himself because if Roode had won he would have turned into another Dixie Carter and wrestling didn’t need another Dixie. He said he took care of Roode's boys and now he wanted to fight him.
Roode slid in the ring and Ray beat him down. Ray setup a table and Roode hit a spinebuster. Roode lifted for the Roode bomb, but Ray escaped and hit the powerbomb through the table…
Shore's Slant: I had faith in Bully Ray to explain why he turned and it appears my faith was misplaced. He really didn’t explain anything, and he beat down Roode so we have no reason to ever care again. It's just bad booking on an elementary level. I truly don’t understand why they keep making these same mistakes over and over again.
Overall a very disappointing episode of Impact. The Lockdown stupidity was either compounded or not addressed. The good things about Lockdown were barely covered. And I don’t feel like we are one step closer to seeing what matches we will get on their next PPV which is only a month away. Jason Powell and Will Pruett will have more tomorrow. Thanks for watching along tonight.
3/13 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: MVP has full control of the company, Brittany debuts, Thank you Dixie celebration, Lockdown fallout
Mar 13, 2014 - 08:00 PM
Mar 13, 2014 - 08:00 PM
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