By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped earlier in Glasgow, Scotland.
[Q1] A video showed Sting leaving the ring last week. A somber Mike Tenay said Sting was done in TNA… Right after, the crowd was shown and Tenay was all happy on the headsets with Jeremy Borash. Odd. Backstage, Rockstar Spud and Ethan Carter III were in a pull-apart altercation with Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle for an unknown reason. Magnus made his entrance with EC3 and Spud.
Magnus heeled it up on Scotland and drew crazy heat. He said some people in the back had a problem that Sting fell to the reign of Magnus. He said like Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles, Sting had a good run but he brought it to an end. Magnus said he said it was show business and he was getting rid of the dead weight by thinning the heard. He said he and Dixie had decided to put the old bulls out to pasture to make room for the new stars, like BroMans, Zema Ion, and Spud.
EC3 seemed upset he wasn't mentioned. Magnus said he singlehandedly eliminated Styles, Hardy, and Sting. Carter took a mic and cut him off and asked him if he heard that right. Magnus said yes and tried to continue but Carter cut him off again. Before he could say more, however, Angle and Joe came out and chased them from the ring.
Angle took a mic and said they weren't thinning the heard, they were screwing the heard. He said it would be different if Magnus had beat Sting, but he screwed him over and that proved Magnus was a paper champion. A "paper champion" chant broke out. Angle said they regret ever letting him in the Mafia.
Magnus said they let him in the Mafia because he was somebody and now he was the ultimate somebody as champion. He said that was killing Angle and Joe. Joe said the only thing killing them was Magnus was upright and breathing and they came to Glasgow to kick his ass.
Magnus said it sounded like they wanted to fight so he challenged them to a tag match. He said if they lost they both left TNA forever. Joe and Angle talked about it and then Joe said they would raise the stakes and if they pinned him, the person who did would get a title shot. Joe said that might be too intense for a paper champion. The chant started again and Magnus agreed to the match.
Dixie Carter came out and said the match wasn't happening. Magnus asked her what she was doing and she said there was too much going on tonight and she couldn't risk him losing the title to Angle or Joe. That got the chant going again and Magnus freaked out. He turned to the ring and said they had a deal and walked off with Dixie in tow… Outside, a black van that the announce team called a limo pulled up to the building…
Shore's Slant: OK, that might pass for a limo in Scotland but here it looks like the van the bad guy uses to abduct the girl. I'm just saying. The talking segment itself was way too long but pretty good. Magnus is getting good heat, but I hate this "paper champion" thing because it's true. He hasn't won anything clean and when they point it out over and over it destroys his championship reign.
[Q2][C] The camera ran up to the van as the Wolves got out. They told the camera guy all their questions would be answered tonight and if anyone wanted to get to the investor, they had to go through the Wolves…
1. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim and Lei'D Tapa. Sky and Rayne came out as the Beautiful People and the announce team made it out as a big deal. Kim and Tapa attacked the faces before they could get in the ring, but Velvet Sky hit her finisher on Kim for the win…
Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne defeated Gail Kim and Lei'D Tapa at 1:55.
Post-match, Chris Sabin stormed out to the ring and called Madison a tramp before telling her to leave. Sabin told Sky he had been trying to get in touch with her for a week. He said he didn’t know what her problem was and speculated if it was hormones. He said she had one chance to apologize and go to the back to give him a massage. Velvet said she had one thing to say, "We're done." She stormed off and Sabin stomped around in the ring saying he said when it was over…
Backstage, Angle told Joe they weren't going to go out like Sting and the rest. The yanked open a door and Bobby Roode was there. They dragged him off camera before the break…[C]
Shore's Slant: So the purpose of the Knockouts match was to rehash the Bully Ray and Brooke storyline just with Sabin and Velvet? Is TNA really that far out of ideas?
Back from commercial, Joe pulled Angle off Roode. Angle said Roode wasn't going to do to them what he did to AJ and Sting. Roode asked Angle if he was really that much of a threat. He said he would have to be stupid to go after Angle and Joe at the same time. Joe grabbed his throat and said if Roode interfered tonight he would end him. Angle pulled him off and they left a smirking Roode behind…
[Q3] James Storm made his ring entrance and ran through his history with Gunner. He said he needed some closure and called out Gunner, who made his ring entrance. Gunner said they shared a lot on the road together. He talked about being a Marine and how he learned to fight for the guy beside him. A "USA" chant broke out.
Shore's Slant: Wait, what?
Storm said he knew all of Gunner's story and new he was a man who didn't take credit for what he did but he needed too. Storm said his daughter asked him why he was mad at Gunner and he realized he was wrong for all he had said and done. He said he didn't have Gunner's back but he does now. They shook hands on it and Bad Influence's music hit.
Kazarian started the promo as they came to the ring. He called Storm a monkey fart and said Gunner was "all beard and no brains." He said Storm wanted beer, whiskey, fat women, and the TNA title most of all. Daniels challenged them to a tag match and dared Gunner to put the briefcase on the line. Gunner asked for the mic and punched Daniels. A ref ran out and rang the bell…[C]
Shore's Slant: I absolutely HATE it when guys put their title shots on the line, especially in a tag match! How stupid is Gunner to agree to this? It doesn't make him look tough like creative claims, it makes them look stupid. Again, especially in a tag match. It just doesn't make sense.
[Q3] 2. Gunner and James Storm vs. Bad Influence with Gunner's TNA Championship briefcase on the line. The match was joined in progress. Bad Influence got heat on Storm and Gunner came back to destroy them both for the win…
Gunner and James Storm defeated Bad Influence at 8:00. Gunner retains his briefcase.
Backstage, Dixie was having a nervous breakdown and Spud tried to calm her down. She shooed him away…[C]
Shore's Slant: I spilled my water during the tag match so I couldn't get it all. It was an OK match but a forgettable one ultimately. Dixie's breakdown could be fun to watch if Spud would go away. He's very good in his spots but here it didn’t work.
A Samoa Joe hype video aired… Backstage, Bobby Roode walked in on Dixie and demanded his title shot at Lockdown. Dixie said it wasn't going to happen. Roode yelled she promised him twice and she said she didn't have time to deal with it right now. He told her he was giving her one week and until she figured it out, there would be no more favors…
Eric Young and ODB talked backstage. ODB expressed concern about Abyss and EY talked about being a scientist. She walked off and Abyss walked up. EY asked if he was ready and Abyss held up a bag that looked like tacks. EY smiled and they walked off… Spud walked up to the camera and said he was going to the ring to call out the Wolves and find out who the investor is…[C]
Shore's Slant: Bobby Roode face turn coming? Sounds like it.
[Q5] Spud made his entrance and called Scotland the "England B team." He called out the Wolves to tell him who the investor is and they made their ring entrance. Their new entrance music is pretty bland. Spud asked them who the investor is and they just smirked at him. He said he's seen cop shows like "Magnum TA" and shined a flashlight in their faces while asking again. Still no answer.
Spud pulled his jacket off and yelled at them about being fierce like a lion or tiger. He demanded to know who the investor is and slapped Davey Richards. They took their coats off and Spud said he was glad they saw the light. They grabbed Spud and hit a combo popup into a kick from Richards.
Eddie took the mic and said Dixie would find out the investor when everyone else does. He said he did have a message from the investor. He said "they" were very interested in the main event and if anyone interfered they would be fired…
A video recapped the EY and Abyss story. Abyss and EY made their ring entrance. Zema Ion stepped out and introduced the BroMans…[C]
Shore's Slant: Once again Spud took this one just a little too far. It wasn't bad per se, but I would call it a miss. That said, the Wolves played their part well here and Eddie Edwards was comfortable on the mic, something they haven't always been.
[Q6] 3. BroMans (w/DJ Zema) vs. Abyss and Eric Young for the TNA Tag Team Championships. EY started with Robbie. Abyss kept coming in and EY would have to talk him down, allowing the heels to stay in control. Abyss finally got the hot tag and cleared the ring. Zema Ion climbed on the turnbuckle and Abyss grabbed him. The ref threatened to disqualify Abyss. Abyss dropped Ion and scooped up the ref. EY tried to stop him, but Abyss hit Shock Treatment on the ref…
BroMans fought Abyss and Eric Young to an apparent no contest in 5:02.
Post-match, Abyss chokeslammed EY and left. EY grabbed a mic and said there was only one experiment left and challenged Abyss to a Monster's Ball match next week. Abyss said he was going to hurt EY…
Outside, Eddie Edwards pushed the camera man back as Davey talked to the investor in the limo/van… Bully Ray was shown pushing a casket backstage…[C]
Shore's Slant: I gave up on the EY and Abyss story a long time ago and this is why. What experiment is there to conduct? He's already had a Monster's Ball match, what does having it with EY mean? This angle has been stupid from the beginning. And is Bully Ray becoming Undertaker now?
A video from "earlier this week" was part regular camera and part security camera od Sam Shaw and Christy Hemme at his place. He gave her a tour but wouldn’t let her go into one room. He went in and it was a shrine to Christy. He took the hair he had in his hand from rubbing her hair and added it to a wig on a mannequin. He kissed the dummy and left…
Shore's Slant: I don't mind this character so much, but I hate the stupid camera stuff they did here. Don't try and make it real TNA. Either the fans will suspend disbelief and accept this with real cameras there or they won't. Making it look like security footage is just stupid.
[Q7] Bully Ray pushed the casket to the ring and cut a promo. He said he used the be the president of the Aces and Eights and the world champion but one man took it all away. He said the fans seemed to love that one man. He said he tried to break Anderson's neck and he came back and ruined his life. He challenged Anderson to a casket match.
Anderson made his entrance and stood next to the coffin and Ray joined him on the floor. Anderson asked if he heard Ray correctly in that he wanted to put Anderson in the coffin. Anderson asked then what. Ray said maybe he would piledrive Anderson's wife and kids. Anderson asked him if he was for real. Ray said he would love to piledrive his wife.
Shore's Slant: I popped.
Anderson said everyone was tired of Ray running his mouth. He said Ray wouldn’t put him in the casket because he was going to shut Ray's mouth. He said his wife and kids said hello and hit Ray with the casket lid. They brawled into the ring and Anderson hit Bully with a chair. He went for a head shot and Ray powdered to the floor…
A video hyped Kurt Angle as a cyborg… EC3 walked up to Magnus and asked if he was ready. Magnus said he wasn't thrilled about having to team with a green rookie in a match this important. Carter said it sounded like Magnus was already making excuses. They mouthed off until Dixie walked in and then they put each other over. Dixie told EC3 not to disappoint her and left with Magnus. EC3 was not happy about it…[C]
Shore's Slant: Anderson and Ray were fine but I'm just not feeling it. It could just be me, but both of these guys have lost their momentum somewhere along the way. I'm not entirely sure where all the tension between Carter and Magnus is going, but I do like that storyline and hope there is a good pay off for it down the road.
Magnus and EC3 made their ring entrance.
[Q8] Joe and Angle were out next…
4. Magnus and Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. If Joe and Angle lose they must leave TNA. If Joe or Angle win, the winner becomes number once contender. JB announced more UK dates for 2015. Carter and Angle started. Joe tagged in quickly and tossed Carter around. Angle tagged back in and missed a spot in the corner to allow the heels to take control. Magnus tagged in and the show went to a split screen of the match and the van/limo outside. The camera guy was forced to put his camera down and chased off by the Wolves as another set of legs in a suit stepped out of the van…[C]
Shore's Slant: I have no idea what Magnus did there because I was watching the other feed. It's like they have to shit on their new champion under penalty of law. Hilarious.
The heels were still getting heat on Angle. Angle hit a German on EC3 and they both tagged out. Joe ran his offense and hooked a cross arm breaker on Magnus. EC3 made the save, but Angle pulled him from the ring and hit a suplex on Carter on the floor. Magnus was pissed at EC3 and that allowed Joe to hook on the rear naked choke for the win…
Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle defeated Magnus and Ethan Carter III at 11:02. Samoa Joe is now the number one contender for the TNA Championship.
Post-match, Dixie and Spud came out with Dixie crying about telling them this could happen. Joe took a mic and said not only were he and Kurt staying in TNA for a long time, he was the next world champion. He told Magnus not to blame it on EC3 because Magnus tapped out. He told Magnus to shine his belt because Joe is going to kill you.
Angle took the mic and put over Scotland and wrestling in general. He said it was time to be properly inducted into the Hall of Fame. He told Dixie to invite the investor too. Dixie said she had heard enough about the investor and demanded they reveal themselves. The lights went out a clock started ticking. The Wolves walked out on the ramp and then MVP joined them. Tenay screamed his name to close the show…
Shore's Slant: A lot going on here. There's the continued problems between Magnus and EC3. There's Joe as the new number one contender. There's Angle ready to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. And then there's the new investor. Maybe that was too much in one spot? It certainly was for me. It's hard to compartmentalize all of that at one time and so things get lost in the shuffle. TNA needs to slow down when trying to tell these stories.
We'll have to wait until next week to gauge the MVP appearance as it was muddied by everything else going on in that segment. All in all this was a forgettable episode of Impact. There wasn't much to hate, but there wasn't much to take away from it either. Jason Powell and Will Pruett will have more tomorrow. Thanks for watching along tonight.
1/30 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: The secret investor is revealed, Magnus and Ethan Carter III vs. Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle with career and titles on the line
Jan 30, 2014 - 08:00 PM
Jan 30, 2014 - 08:00 PM
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