By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Taped on 1/16 in Huntsville, Alabama.
[Q1] A video hyped Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode in a cage and Sting vs. Magnus… Backstage, Rockstar Spud told a nervous Dixie Carter to calm down. Magnus walked up and the other guy that was there was introduced as an attorney. They all squawked about the new investor and the attorney said the person was trying for a hostile takeover. Magnus asked what that meant and Dixie said the person was looking into wrestling operations too.
The attorney said they would play ball while he figured out who the investor was and shut them down. Magnus asked what that meant and the attorney said Sting got to have someone in his corner. Magnus blew up and Dixie calmed him down. Magnus said they would make the match a no disqualification or countout match. The attorney said he could sell that and told Magnus to chill. Magnus flipped on him and Dixie walked him off…
Shore's Slant: The attorney actor was AWFUL! Seriously, that sucked.
Magnus made his ring entrance with Spud and Ethan Carter. Magnus cut a promo and blamed Sting for the new investor and all the changes tonight. He asked Sting if he was a man and how he could break their deal. Sting made his ring entrance and said he wouldn't sell out like Magnus did. He said all he knew was someone told him he could have anyone in his corner tonight and that's what he did.
Sting continued to get in Magnus's face and backed him into a corner as he cut his promo on Magnus being a paper champion, which got the crowd chanting it. Magnus slapped Sting. Sting sold it for a moment and then hit Magnus. EC3 jumped in and they beat down Sting. Samoa Joe ran out for the save and Sting announced Joe as his second tonight… The announce team hyped the matches for tonight and setup James Storm vs. Gunner for next…[C]
Shore's Slant: The backstage segment was so bad it made everything after it stink. Magnus continues to look weak against Sting and seems unsure of himself. It's like nobody knows how to book a strong heel anymore.
[Q2] Backstage, Spud asked Dixie if she wanted to put Joe in a match. Dixie said yes, him. Spud sold it as terrified and Dixie talked him up. Spud walked off in a daze and Dixie whispered that she hoped he didn't get killed…
1. Gunner vs. James Storm in a briefcase on a pole match. The stipulation was explained as the winner must pull the briefcase down and have "full possession."
Shore's Slant: CAUTION SHENANIGANS AHEAD
Both guys went for the briefcase quickly. Gunner shoved Storm and hooked a headlock to start the action. Gunner went for the slingshot suplex that Storm reversed into a backstabber. Storm hit Closing Time and the announce team no sold it completely. Storm went for the Last Call but Gunner blocked into a slam.
Gunner climbed the buckle and Storm caught him. Storm hit a ranna from the top rope and landed awkwardly. Storm climbed the buckle and got the briefcase. Gunner immediately pulled him down into an electric chair and the ref determined Storm didn't have possession. They brawled for a moment and Gunner grabbed the briefcase…[C]
Gunner defeated James Storm at 5:39.
Shore's Slant: Show of hands: Who saw this EXACT finish in your head once Tenay started harping on the "full possession" rule? All of you? Oh, not that guy. Anyway, why does every finish have to have some sort of bullshit attached to it? Why can't TNA just have a finish? It's beyond frustrating at this point.
[Q3] Kurt Angle said if he couldn't beat Bobby Roode at least once with the Hall of Fame on the line he didn't deserve to be in the Hall or even be in TNA… A video recapped Velvet Sky agreeing to be in a cage this week. An Impact 365 video showed Velvet opening a package from Chris Sabin. She pulled out a gift bag, a teddy bear, and a giant black cylinder. She looked confused and turned off the camera… Velvet and Sabin made their entrance…[C]
Shore's Slant: So many jokes, so little time. Jason Powell has requested all the emails about Velvet holding a giant black cylinder be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
2. Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries for the X Division Championship. Velvet Sky is locked in a cage at ringside. Velvet had the gift bag with her in the cage. Sabin had Aries in the tree of woe and stood on him to wave at Velvet. Aries came back and hit the corner dropkick. Sabin escaped the brain buster and went to the floor and asked Velvet for the bag. She gave it to him and he pulled out the teddy bear. Aries attacked Sabin on the floor and hit the brain buster for the win…
Austin Aries won the X Division Championship at 5:08.
Shore's Slant: The match itself was pretty good, even if we've seen it before. The finish was easy to see. I thought last week they might swerve us and turn Velvet, but after the black cylinder I changed my mind to her staying babyface. I hope they have a plan for both of these guys going forward. Flip flopping the title between them is getting boring.
[Q4][C] A very strange Wolves video questioned why they had to have a try out match. They said the new investor would be revealed next week in Scotland…
Shore's Slant: That was pretty cheesy. Impact has been bad thus far tonight.
Roode and Angle made their ring entrances…[C]
[Q5] 3. Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle in a cage match. The first 90 seconds was in last quarter. The match started just before they came back from commercial. Roode hit a surprise neckbreaker early and settled in on working the neck and head of Angle. Angle came back with a slingshot into the cage and hit the German suplexes. Angle sidestepped a charging Angle, tossed him into the cage, and hit the spinebuster for two.
Angle avoided the Roode bomb to hit the Angle slam for two and locked in the ankle lock. Roode escaped and climbed the ropes. Angle caught him and they slammed each other in the cage until Roode fell. Angle climbed to the top of the cage, stopped, and then missed the moonsault from the top of the cage.
Roode crawled to the door and tried to crawl out. Angle dragged him back in the ring by the ankle. Roode kicked him away and once again crawled slowly out of the door and made it far enough to win but for some reason let Angle drag him back in by the ankle and hooked the ankle lock. Roode kicked away and hit the Roode bomb for two.
Roode tried to escape the cage and Angle hit the Angle slam from the top rope for two. Angle climbed the cage and Roode dragged Angle back in the cage. They fought on the top rope and Roode crotched himself. Angle climbed back over the cage as Roode crawled to the door. Angle dropped down first to win…
Kurt Angle defeated Bobby Roode at 14:14.
Shore's Slant: An OK cage match but it felt stale, especially when Angle went for the moonsault from the top of the cage. He just can't help himself. There's no reason for that bump at this point in his career. Nor was I buying that losing to Roode keeps him out of the Hall of Fame. It just doesn't ring true.
[Q6][C] EC3 talked up Spud backstage in a comedic way and kissed him on the head. Spud went nuts and slammed a chair on the ground… The Bro Mans made their entrance and the three of them cut a promo that took a shot at Eric Young or something. I was trying to claw my eardrums out. EY ran out and took a beating from all three until Abyss came out to make the save. Abyss teased chokeslamming EY but stopped short…
Backstage, Joe said his knee was fine and that he was there to send a message via pain. He said Spud would be the vessel for his message…[C]
Shore's Slant: Good god the Bro Mans are terrible. EY and Abyss aren't much better, but at least it isn't muppet Abyss.
[Q7] Angle cut a promo putting over how important Sting is to Impact. He looked in the camera and got emotional about the possibility of Sting losing. He wished Sting the best and said he hoped he won tonight. He told Sting goodbye if he didn't win… Spud made his entrance, followed by Joe…
4. Rockstar Spud vs. Samoa Joe. Joe turned his back on Spud and gave him a free shot. Spud grabbed him and Joe tossed him around. He hit the muscle buster followed by the rear naked choke for the submission win…
Samoa Joe defeated Rockstar Spud at 2:17.
Post-match, Joe cut a promo and said if any of Dixie's lackeys tried to get involved tonight they had to go through him…[C]
Shore's Slant: So a meaningless squash match? I mean, what purpose did that serve other than to burn through Spud's comeuppance? Joe didn't gain anything from it and it didn't extend any story. Just wasteful.
Jeremy Borash handled old school ring introductions…
[Q8] 5. Magnus vs. Sting (w/Samoa Joe) in a no disqualification, no countout match for the TNA Championship. If Sting loses he must leave TNA. Both men hit clotheslines on each other and EC3 came down the ramp. Joe got in his face and Carter backed up the ramp…[C]
Sting put Magnus in the Scorpion. Bad Influence ran out with EC3 and attacked Joe while EC3 went after Sting. The match broke down and the babyfaces cleared the heels. Joe dove on the three men on the floor. Sting hit the Scorpion death drop and covered but the Bro Mans pulled the ref from the ring.
All six men took out Joe and ganged up on Sting while Magnus was down in the corner. Angle ran out and cleared the heels alone. Sting hit another slam and another ref ran out for the nearfall. Sting accidently hit the splash on the ref when Magnus pulled him in the way. Sting hooked the Scorpion again and Magnus tapped out but there was no ref.
Magnus hit a slam on Sting and held a bridge. Dixie Carter dragged Earl Hebner to the ring and told him to count. Hebner took his time but finally counted three…
Magnus defeat Sting at 13:27.
Post-match Dixie gave Magnus a contract that he tore up and sprinkled on Sting…
Shore's Slant: That was terrible. They had even more run-ins and ref bumps than last time and how in the hell are we supposed to buy that Sting couldn't kick out after the five minute dragging of Hebner to the ring? This isn't just a bad finish, it's an insult to wrestling fans. This show was just plain terrible. Jason Powell and Will Pruett will add their thoughts tomorrow, but I will honestly be surprised if anybody thought this was a good show. Thanks for watching along tonight.
1/23 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: Genesis part two, Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode in a cage match, Sting vs. Magnus in a contract vs. title match
Jan 23, 2014 - 08:00 PM
Jan 23, 2014 - 08:00 PM
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