By Chris Shore
TNA Impact Wrestling on SpikeTV
Aired live from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida.
[Q1] The voice over guy recapped the current storylines, including the worst return, evah, and hyped the wedding…The Impact Zone was shown setup for the wedding, including cake, as Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay, and Taz checked in on commentary.
Shore's Slant: OK, now I am officially excited. Train wreck coming!
A video from earlier today showed Spike Dudley and Tommy Dreamer congratulating Ray and Christy Hemme, Mickie James, and Brook Tessmacher as Brooke Hogan's bridesmaids. Tessmacher asked if Brook's dad was coming and Brooke couldn't answer…
Jeff Hardy made his entrance as a video recapped in still photos how he won his match at Genesis. A "You still got it" chant broke out. Hardy put over Austin Aries and Bobby Roode and said h was still champion. A "We're your creatures" chant broke out. Hardy said he was always ready for a fight. He started to say more, but Christopher Daniels and Kazarian cut him off.
Kazarian said Daniels was going to bring the fight to Hardy in seven days and take the title. Daniels called him Jefferson and said he beat James Storm to face Hardy without having any creatures help him. Daniels said the fans were losers, just like AJ, Storm, and Hardy.
Hardy said they didn't have to wait, they could do it now. Kazarian attacked him from behind and they gave him the beat down. Storm ran out and chased them off. Storm took a mic and challenged them to a match. They heels said no, but Storm said it wasn't a request. They went to the floor and rolled Kazarian in the ring to start the match…
1. Jeff Hardy and James Storm vs. Christopher Daniels and Kazarian. The babyfaces hit a series of quick impact moves in less than a minute before the show cut to break…[C]
[Q2] Back from commercial, the babyfaces were still in control. As soon as I typed that, Daniels drove Storm back to the corner and Kazarian choked him out to take control. Daniels worked the neck with a neckbreaker and chinlocks.
Storm suddenly got the hot tag to Hardy and Daniels ran to tag Kazarian. Hardy hit a low drop kick the knocked Kazarian to the floor and followed up with a diving clothesline on the floor. Looks like the fans got to Hardy tonight. Hardy hit the Whisper in the Wind on Kazarian, but Daniels broke the count.
Storm knocked Daniels to the floor and dove on him. Storm sold a hurt knee while Kazarian got a near fall on an inside cradle. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate out of nowhere for the win…
Jeff Hardy and James Storm defeated Christopher Daniels and Kazarian at 11:55.
Post-match, Daniels hit Angles Wings on Hardy on Hardy's belt, and then posed over top of Hardy with the original TNA belt over his shoulder…Backstage, the Gut Check judges debated. Bruce Prichard teased giving his pick, but the video stopped…[C]
Shore's Slant: Fun opening match. Hardy was fired up when he came in. I think I would have rather seen the heels go over here, but I didn't hate the finish. I liked Daniels looking strong, but it would have been nice to show Jeff show a little more ass. But we have to remember this is the first show under the new PPV schedule, so stories are going to progress at a different rate.
[Q3] Joseph Park came in and congratulated Ray and gave him a box of Cuban cigars. He told Ray to keep them "kayfab." He also asked about a pre-nup and Ray threw him out…The Gut Check guys joined the judges in the ring. Prichard went first and put over both guys, and then eliminated Brian Cage from contention.
Taz went first in judging Jay Bradley. Taz said the answer wasn't unanimous, so he wasn't going to waste time, he was just going to say no. Bradley took his kick out promo and said he had humped so many roads he probably owed some child supports, but they all brought him here. He said last week he was trending worldwide on Twitter. Snow gave Jay a quick yes, and then Prichard wasted no time to say yes as well…[C]
Shore's Slant: We are in a mother of a snowstorm here in NC (I know how that sounds, but check the news) so I had a satellite moment at the end of Bradley's promo, but it was pretty good. He said child supports, just like I wrote it, but it was a little slip.
Christian York made his ring entrance. Kenny King was out next as a video recapped their match at Genesis. York dove on King to start the match…
2. Christian York vs. Kenny King. York slammed King all over the outside and then rolled him in the ring. King tried to escape, but York grabbed his leg and dragged him back. King hit a Pele kick, but York came right back and lifted King for his finisher.
[Q4] King raked the eyes and rolled York up with a handful of trunks for the win…[C]
Kenny King defeated Christian York at 2:52.
Shore's Slant: Bad match. They never developed a rhythm. I don't know if it was the short time or if they are trying to slow them down a little, but it was really bad.
Backstage, Bully Ray stopped Sting and begged him to talk to Hogan because the only way Brooke would be happy would be if her dad was there to walk her down the aisle. He said Brooke deserved to be happy. Sting said because of what Ray meant to him, he would talk to Hogan. He said Hogan was digging in his heels, but he would talk to Hogan…
Taz said he was leaving the announce table to do some things backstage for the wedding…Backstage, Aries was frustrated about dressing up and snatched his shirt off. Bobby Roode walked up and they started their bickering. Aries said he was going to wear black because he had issues with what was about to happen. Roode said he did too. They teamed up and left...
Hogan was shown arriving backstage. The invisible question guy asked Hogan if he was there for the wedding. He asked him again and then asked if Hogan was going to give Brooke away. Hogan told him to find something else to do…[C]
Shore's Slant: Taz's exit was really uncomfortable, while the Aries and Roode stuff is garbage for this viewer. The campiness from them is not a good fit. They have to get Hogan here. I can't imagine how you get him to come around if it isn't on his daughter's wedding day.
[Q5] Taz joined the rest of the guys backstage and Dreamer asked Ray about Hogan. Ray said Brooke was a wreck and they both wanted Hogan to be there. Ray left to put his tux on…A video recapped the wedding storyline. Sting made his ring entrance. Sting cut a promo that was still too much Joker and called out Hulk.
Hogan made his ring entrance and took a mic. He told Sting to cut the crap. Hogan said they had been around the world together and they had both had people tell them they loved them only to leave. Sting said that was true, but Ray had saved him, Brooke, and Hulk many times. Hogan said it wasn't just him. He said people everywhere were telling him not to trust Ray. He said he didn't like the look in Ray's eyes and he would never trust him.
Sting said then the truth was Hogan needed to do it for his daughter. The fans chanted, "Do it," and Sting egged them on. Hogan said he was telling Sting and everyone in the building, "I always do the right thing, brother." Hogan stormed off, leaving Sting in the ring…
Backstage, Gail Kim showed Taryn Terrell a video of her missing the foot under the rope at Genesis. Taryn said she understood and promised that the rematch Kim and Velvet Sky had tonight would be called down the middle. Kim got in her face and said it better be…[C]
Shore's Slant: Anybody else almost die of laughter when Hogan said he always did the right thing? I'm still hurting. The whole segment was kind of lame, actually. I didn't think either man was very effective, and they played to the fans a little too much. Hogan even had a weird posing moment that I'm not sure made any sense.
Bully Ray was shown at his bachelor party at a strip club in NY. There was no nudity, just Ray posing with several strippers…The women made their entrances while a video explained the gauntlet match results from Sunday…
[Q6] 3. Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky to become the number one contender for the Knockouts Championship. Kim took quick control and went for a straightjacket neckbreaker, but Velvet fell down. Kim recovered nicely with a kick and then hit the move. Kim had a cool twisting head scissor hold and hit Eat Defeat. She covered, but Velvet put her leg under the rope to stop the count. Kim tried to bully Terrell for the call, but Velvet ran her comeback and hit her finisher for the win…
Velvet Sky became become the number one contender for the Knockouts Championship at 5:55.
Brooke Hogan and Dixie Carter were talking backstage about the wedding. They cried like two women at a wedding do, and then Dixie told Brooke that no matter what, her dad loved her. The wedding was hyped for next…[C]
Shore's Slant: Holy crap, either this is the longest wrestling wedding in history or this isn't last. Why in the hell wouldn't this be in the main event spot? You've already shown your champion, what else is bigger than this? Wow. Also, Velvet Sky is still bad. She has gotten better, no question, but not good enough. And I don't like her new look at all.
A video recapped the end of the opening match…Bobby Roode and Austin Aries made their ring entrance and made fun of the wedding set. Roode and Aries ran down the wedding and then one upped each other again.
[Q7] Aries put both men over and then said the company was 10 years in the past when you looked at the champions. He said they had not gotten the respect they deserve and it made them sick. Roode said they objected to the wedding and Aries agreed as Hernandez and Chavo cut them off. Chavo said they object too, but not to the wedding. They objected to Aries and Roode putting down the champions in the company.
Aries and Roode made several racists jokes. Roode even asked, "Who has Mexican at a wedding reception?" and referred to them as "the help." Chavo and Hernandez attacked and left Roode and Aries lying…[C]
Shore's Slant: So the plan is to take the Daniels and Kaz out of the tag division and replace them with Aries and Roode doing a bad imitation of Daniels and Kaz? This was terrible. If Daniels and Kaz weren't already doing a same gimmick (minus the bickering) this might work, but even then it feels weak and flimsy. Aries has always been a little quirky, but Roode doesn't do the comedy act very well.
A video recapped the end of the Hogan and Sting segment. Backstage, Hogan and Sting continued their conversation. Hogan said it wasn't about Ray. He said he had tried to keep all of the bad in the business away from her. Sting told him he was wrong about Bully and he needed to walk Brooke down the aisle because Hogan was jaded by the business. Hogan said he was going to pack his bag and get out of there because he always did the right thing for the business and with his family…
Bully Ray made his way to the ring to soft music and the ropes had been taken off and setup for the wedding. Dreamer and Miss Tessmacher were out next, followed by Spike and Mickie James, and Taz and Christy Hemme.
[Q8][C] The wedding march started and Brooke Hogan walked out. She looked behind her a couple of times, and then the place went nuts. She looked to her right and there was Hogan in a tux. The crowd chanted for him as they hugged and continued to the ring.
The crowd chanted for the two men to shake hands, but they didn't. The minister started the ceremony and asked who presented the woman. Hogan said, "I do" and put her hand in Bully's. The minister launched into a full-fledged marriage sermon (secular) and then asked them to say their vows.
Brooke went first and said he made her feel safe. She said he certainly knows how to make her laugh in a suggestive voice, which the crowd whooped at. She closed by saying she loved him. Ray said he started to write his vows down, but realized she deserved to hear it from the heart. He said she made him happy and he frigging loved her.
The minister asked the objection question, but nothing happened. He asked Brooke if she took Ray to be hers as the crowd chanted, "Yes!" She said yes, and then Ray did the same. The minister started to declare them husband and wife, but Taz stopped him.
Taz asked Ray if he really wanted to do this. Ray asked him if he was crazy. Taz said he had a second question and wanted to know if it was hot in there. He took off his jacket and the crowd went crazy. He turned around, and the vest he wore with his tux was an Aces and Eights vest.
Aces and Eights attacked from everywhere and dragged Brooke from the ring. Doc and Knox held her as the rest of the gang beat up the wedding party. They held Ray so Devon could hit him with a planter. The gang left and Brooke ran around screaming for her dad and Bully as the show went off the air…
Shore's Slant: Well, they swerved me with Taz. Good for them. Now ask me if I care. After threatening to kick guys out for revealing themselves, Taz, who I assume is the VP, just says, "Here I am?" Not to mention, it's Taz! He's an announcer! Who cares! I'm really befuddled by this decision. The only good thing I can say about this is I hope this means Taz is out at commentary for a while. It does explain why Keneley was added when he was. I'm a mixed bag about this episode. Jason Powell will have the hitlist tomorrow, and Will Pruett will be along with Impact audio. Thanks for watching along with me tonight.
Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.
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1/17 Shore's TNA Impact Wrestling live coverage: Genesis fallout, The Gut Check contestants are judged, and Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray get married
Jan 17, 2013 - 07:00 PM
Jan 17, 2013 - 07:00 PM
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