3/23 TNA Impact taping: Full results of the matches taped for next week's television show (spoilers)

Dot Net reader Justin Robertson attended the TNA Impact taping on Tuesday and passed along the following recap.

TNA Xplosion taping

1. Angelina Love beat Madison Rayne. An okay match while it lasted. If I remember correctly it was just a clean finish with no outside interference from anyone. Rare for TNA these days.

2. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D ended in a no contest. The finish came when one member of each team pinned a member of the opposing team simultaneously. The Guns' tag title shot was on the line in this match. This match may have been taped for Impact rather than Xplosion.

TNA Impact Taping

The show opened with a video telling us that Hulk Hogan wouldn't be there and that he was leaving "macho man" Jay Lethal in charge of his half of the show...

Opening pyro and then I'm pretty sure it went straight into a promo with the wolfp... er, The Band. Nash called out Eric Young and said he wanted to talk about what happened at the pay-per-view man to man. Young came out and wound up brawling with all three men until Hardy and RVD made the save. They cut a promo saying they're ready to go and Young pointed out that Nash was stuck with the band while he "traded up." Hardy then sang along to his entrance music and then kept telling fans to cheer for people. I think he would have kept going forever had they not eventually shut his mic off...

1. Kazarian and Shannon Moore beat Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick. Acceptable X Division match where Moore (ugh) got the pin on Kendrick and then used black lipstick on him like Williams did on Sunday at the PPV.

The Pope cut a pretty good promo stating that he'd take AJ to the outer limits at Lockdown and take his title. Chelsea came out and came on to him. Wolfe tried to sneak in behind Pope but was caught. Pope then kissed Chelsea and dropped her to the mat...

I can't remember if this happened now or after the women's first blood match but I'll go ahead and mention it. Orlando Jordan descended from the ceiling wrapped in yellow caution tape and then writhed around the ring. He slowly crawled up the entrance ramp (yes, crawled, while grinding to his music) and then over to some set (it looked like it would be used for a talk show segment) where a guy and a girl were waiting on a couch. They both touched him and then they all stood up and posed for a camera.

This was absolutely awful and was met with complete and utter silence. So much so that after he was gone there was an "awkward silence" chant. Just dreadful. Jordan has to go. They're trying so hard (see: Eric young) but he's just not going to be accepted by a wrestling audience the way they're pushing him. I think in this day and time wrestling fans might be accepting of an openly gay wrestler (actually probably not but shhhh... We'll pretend they would) but pushing him this way is going to be a case of too much too soon and be met with complete silence and disdain. I hope they figure that out.

2. Tara beat Daffney in a first blood match. Sloppy brawl that ended when Tara broke (what I thought was) her spider's cage over Daffney's head causing her to bleed.

3. A.J. Styles beat Jeff Jarrett in what was more or less a number one contender match for Jarrett. Hogan gave Jarrett a completely fresh start in that opening video and said if he beat Styles tonight he'd be next in line after The Pope. Pretty good match that saw Flair get ejected from ringside early on only to return later. Bischoff tried to sneak in and nail Jarrett but was caught. The ref was bumped and then Styles low-blowed Jarrett and hit the Styles Clash for the win.

4. Jay Lethal beat Beer Money in a handicap match. A shorter match that saw Jay Lethal get the win with a rollup while James Storm went to get his beer bottle.

5. Desmond Wolfe beat The Pope after a distraction from Chelsea. After the distraction, Wolfe used a set of brass knux. At least Desmond got a win for once, even if it wasn't in convincing fashion.

They then spent at least a half hour setting up their new cage. They clearly had no idea how to set it up and spent a large amount of time working on it trying to get it to stay together. They wound up using around 15 or so of those ratchet down straps on all the corners to hold it all together. It all looked very amateurish to be quite honest. You could tell Nash was worried about it later when he came out for the main event as he went around checking it to see if it was sturdy.

Angle came out and had a promo exchange with Mr. Anderson. Good promos from both men setting up a ladder match between them for the next Impact taping. What's at the top of that ladder you might ask? A key. To a cage at Lockdown. I have zero idea what that means. If they explained it i missed it. An odd, but a good segment.

6. Rob Van Dam, Jeff Hardy, and Eric Young beat The Band. Mostly just the mafia selling for the face team, which was a pleasant surprise as compared to what I was expecting. Terrible actual match, though with a lot of awkward spots and missed things that will have to be edited out. The finish came when "Super" Eric young elbow dropped off the top of the cage and all three faces pinned a member of the band.