By Chris Shore

CHIKARA High Noon
Aired Live on iPPV on GFL.tv
The Asylum Arena, Philadelphia, PA

Pre-show match on UStream

Jigsaw defeated El Generico.

High Noon

Gavin Loudspeaker opened the show and said the clock had just struck High Noon. The opening video featured all the wrestlers working the show…

1. The Colony (Soldier Ant and Fire Ant) defeated The Young Bucks (w/Marty Jennetty) at 13:32. The winner of this match will earn the right to challenge for the tag team titles, the Campeonatos de Parejas. Soldier Ant and Matt started. They opened with a salute bit where Matt tried to stop soldier from saluting, but he did.

The Bucks took control and hit a cool slingshot tag team move followed by a quick moonsault onto Fire Ant from Nick Jackson. The Bucks worked heel on Soldier Ant but he finally made the hot tag. Fire Ant hit a combo flying head scissor on Matt into a DDT on Nick.

All four men ended up in the ring and traded elbows. All kinds of crazt rapid fire moves took everyone out back and forth. The Colony setup for Ants Marching. Nick hit a superkick on Soldier Ant to break it up. They hit a combo spike tombstone pile driver on Fire Ant, but Soldier Ant broke it up. The Bucks went for More Bang for Your Buck, but Soldier Ant got the knees up on the 450, and then moved on the moonsault. He rolled up Matt for the pinfall victory.

Shore's Slant: Very good opening match that got the crowd hot. I'm not feeling it like I have seeing CHIKARA live, but it is better than the DVDs. The Colony can now challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas, which I hope will be on iPPV.

2. Sara Del Rey defeated Jakob Hammermeier at 5:21. The crowd chanted "Sara's gonna kill you," before the bell rang. Sara started with a neck wrench. Jakob escaped and shoved her. Sara hit 1,000 kicks on Jakob and he choked her. He played to the crowd and that allowed Sara to come back. She tossed Jakob around by his hair, but he came back and choked her with his tie. The ref took it away and he pulled a second tie from his trunks.

Jakob tried to give her a finger poke, or something, and she bent his finger back in a nasty looking spot. She locked in the Royal Butterfly submission, and then flipped him over in a double underhook suplex for the pinfall victory…A commercial aired for some show. Awesome. Nothing like commercials after I paid…

Shore's Slant: Decent match. I always draw back from women vs. men matches, but Del Rey can hold her own with the men. Hammermeier is a good comedy act, but he's not the greatest in the ring. Del Rey's talent is wasted so much in the indies.

Amasis and Ophidian made their ring entrance. Amasis said he had to retire because the doctors said the slightest mistake could lead to him in a wheelchair. He listed all their accomplishments and offered Ophidian the mic. Ophidian was too choked up to speak, so Amasis said they should do what they do best. He called for the music, and they did the Kid and Play dance.

On the third pass, Ophidian flipped his mask up and spit green mist in Amasis's face. Amasis sold it and dropped to his knees. Ophidian hit a dropkick to the back, and the ref ran in and pushed him away. He broke away and wrenched Amasis's back. The ref's got him out of the ring, but he slid back in and snatched the mask off Amasis. He took a mic and looked at the mask and said, "Amasis, problem solved," before storming to the back. The refs covered Amasis's face and helped him to the back…

Shore's Slant: YES! You have no idea how happy I was when Amasis spit the mist. It didn't feel like a real retirement speech, so I wasn't totally surprised, but the last I had heard, Amasis had to hang them up. This means he doesn't. have to. That made my day.

3. Green Ant defeated Tursas at 12:27. Green Ant hit a dropkick at the bell. We had a ref bump at 1:00, and the rest of the Colony came out and carried the ref to the back, Ant's Marching style. Tursas worked power move after power move on Green Ant. He slammed him to the mat and climbed to the second rope. Green Ant caught him and hit a fallaway slam.

Green Ant hit a dropkick in the ropes that spilled Tursas to the floor. He slammed Tursas on the floor and then hit a splash from the top rope on the floor. Ouch. They rolled in the ring and Tursas hit the Mike Knox crossbody, and followed with a release Razor's Edge move for a two count. He went to the top again, and Green Ant hit a superplex for a near fall. He locked in a Texas Cloverleaf, but Tursas powered back. Green Ant locked in a weird submission hold that worked both legs and an arm and Tursas tapped…

Shore's Slant: An OK match that just never clicked for me. There wasn't anything demonstrably bad, I just couldn't get into it for some reason.

***Intermission***

A video had several CHIKARA stars talking about the Grand Champion title match and gave their opinions on what both Eddie Kingston and Mike Quackenbush should do to win the match. Then seoerate videos highlighted both men's careers.

Shore's Slant: Attention ROH, that is how you do an intermission. Good videos and a very nice bonus for the iPPV crowd.

4. Colt Cabana defeated Archibald Peck (w/Veronica and Colt Cabunny) at 11:35. Peck charged at Cabana before the bell, and Cabana nonchalantly tossed him to the floor. He charged back in and Caban used his jacket as a bull cape. Then Peck tried a crossbody from the top, but Cabana bent over to pick up his towel so Peck missed. The bell rang, and Peck pouted and didn't want to compete.

They finally got going and Cabana worked a ton of comedy spots. Peck is a great comedy act, and Cabana might be the best around. Peck hit a spinning heel kick to take control. He hooked on a sleeper at one point, and Cabana went straight to sleep. Peck went to the top for a flying headbut, and Cabana suddenly woke up and sat up, causing Peck to miss.

Later in the match, Peck hit the headbutt and rolled Colt Cabunny in the ring. He demanded the bunny hit Cabana, but the bunny wouldn't. Veronica threw the baton in the ring and distracted the ref. The bunny ended up with the baton and teased hitting both men, but he finally hit Peck and Cabana covered for the win…

Shore's Slant: Good comedy match that went on in the right spot. It shows what you can do when you have talented athletes who like to have fun. If you can see it, this match is worth sitting through.

5. Icarus defeated Gregory Iron at 12:15. Icarus started with his back tattoo gimmick and finally took his coat off. Iron has cerebral palsy, and Icarus has claimed it is fake for storyline purposes. Iron started out with several good, basic wrestling moves and then Icarus took control Icarus worked slams and chokes on the ropes. He went for another slam, but Iron reversed into a spinning DDT.

Iron hit several strikes and a nice pop-out elbow for two. Iron botched going over the rope and they recovered nicely with Icarus catching him on his legs and then kicking Iron to the floor. He followed and whipped Iron into the wooden stairs. Icarus got a chair and the ref took it away. As the ref put it away, Icarus used his loaded fanny pack to hit Iron in the head. Icarus climbed in the ring and waited for the 20 count, but he made it at 19.

Icarus hit the wings of Icarus immediately, but Iron kicked out. He went for another, but Iron escaped and hit a double axe handle clothesline for two. Iron locked in a crossface, but Icarus escaped. Iron tried for a backsuplex, but Icarus grabbed the ref and used the backwards low blow to stop Iron. He followed with the Blue-Ray (DVD into the buckle) for the win. Post-match, Akuma made his return and stood behind Icarus. He tried to kick Icarus, but Icarus moved and he nailed Iron instead. Iron was helped to the back…

Shore's Slant: Here is the ultimate problem with any indy group and the iPPV market. That match was OK, but I bet if I had been exposed to all the story leading up to it, it would have been better. The announce team did a fair job of selling the history, but it's too much to expect viewers to get into the match and learn the history at the same time.

6. Ultra Mantis and Hallowicked defeated Ares and Tim Donst in a no disqualification match. If Ultra Mantis or Hallowicked lose, they must unmask. If Tim Donst loses, he must shave his head. If Ares loses, he must return the mystical Eye of Tear. Donst and Ares attacked before the bell, but the babyfaces took the first advantage.

Later in the match, the action spilled into the fans and the heels hit suplexes onto the plastic chairs. Don't setup for chairs, with two facing two, and started to AA Hallowicked on it. Hallowicked escaped, but Donst hit him with a chair. Ares went for his driver move from the stairs, but he was backdropped onto the setup chairs.

Hammermeier ran in and attacked Ultra Mantis, but Crossbow ran in and made the save. The babyfaces had Ares trapped, and Donst started to come in the rng, but he walked away and took his tape off. He walked to the back as Mantis hit his finisher on the chair for the victory, and the Eye of Tear was returned to Ultra Mantis Black…

Shore's Slant: Go out of your way to see this match. Holy poop (as they say). I have no idea what the Eye of Tear is, but they wrestled their asses off for it.

7. Eddie Kingston (w/Tommy Dreamer) defeated Mike Quackenbush (w/Jigsaw) to become the first ever CHIAKARA Grand Champion at 17:48. Quack started with his chain wrestling skills, but Kingston would shove or club him away. Kingston is wrestling with a bum knee, and he sold it from the beginning. It is my understanding he is legit injured. Quack slid under Kingston and dragged him to the apron. He slammed the knee on the apron and took control.

Quack worked the leg with a dozen different holds, and Kingston could battle out only to have Quack hit a dirty move and apply a new hold. The locker room slowly emptied and filled around the ring, including characters that had not been seen in years. Quack hit a senton from the top rope and followed with the Lightening lock on the leg.

Quack hit his Quackendriver and Kingston kicked out at one in a great spot. Quack went for a double knee from the top, but Kingston moved. Kingston tripped Quack a few times and then set Quack in the corner. They battled and Kingston was knocked down. He hit his big backhand of the future on Quack's leg. He attacked the leg and worked a rest hold on it that he held for a long time until Quack made the ropes.

Both men sat up on their knees and traded slaps, forearms, and head-butts. Quack got the advantage and slapped Kingston. Kingston no sold it again and again, and then hit a clothesline that Quack flipped on, but landed on his head awkwardly. Kingston hit several power moves in a row, and then hit the backhand of the future first to the face, and then to the back of the head for the pinfall victory.

Post-match, the belt was presented by a friend and sister of the late "Sweet and Sour" Larry Sweeny. Eddie put the belt on and the fans chanted "sweet and sour," and "Larry Sweeny." Kingston took the mic and said what we had just seen was the best wrestling around. He said wrestling about five times to make his point. He challenged, "Anyone from New York or that piece of crap down in Florida to bring it." He went on to specifically call out CM Punk, John Cena, Triple H and AJ Styles. He closed the show with, "Nobody messes with CHIKARA." The feed stayed for a minute longer as people congratulated Kingston…

Shore's Slant: Well, a lot to talk about here. First of all, a very good match that had a little of everything in it. It's my favorite main event since Money in the Bank. The right guy won here too, especially if Kingston should be healed by the time they start their next season. As much as I complain about bookers putting themselves over, I could see how Quack might have been in a bind by booking himself into the main event to lose to guarantee a good match, and then Kingston got hurt. He almost had to put himself over. But it worked out OK in the end.

It was also a very good show. While it suffered from the same lack of storyline exposure that all the indies do, I thought it did a better job of capturing the live feel that the half-dozen DVDs of theirs I have seen. It still is not as good as the live CHIKARA experience, one I highly recommend to all of you, but nothing ever will be.

Saying all of that, the last thing everybody will remember is Kingston's rant. And while I find it stupid that WWE pretends like they are the only organization out there, I find it equally stupid when small organizations throw the gauntlet down at WWE's feet. There is a lot to love about CHIKARA over WWE, and if someone told me they like CHIKARA over WWE, I would understand.

But Eddie Kingston needs to realize that he reminded everyone watching that they are not, in fact, WWE. I don't think reminding people you are a medium size fish in a small pond that also houses a blue whale is a smart thing to do. Especially when you frame it in a "nobody can beat me" promo in a fixed industry. WWE can beat you. Ask the dozens of groups before you that were swallowed by the whale if they thought they couldn't get beat. Ask that "piece of crap in Florida" that has bigger names, more money, and higher production values than your show does how they fared.

Kingston, and everyone involved, should be proud of what they accomplished tonight, and ignore what anybody else is doing anywhere. I'll have more to say tomorrow on the hitlist. Thanks for reading along tonight.

Questions? Comments? Anyone, anyone? Let me hear from you. Email me at css3238@gmail.com or tweet me @TheShoreSlant with whatever is on your mind.

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