7/7 Twilling's Half Pint Brawlers Coverage: The season finale featuring 'The Littlest Battle Royal Ever!'

By Rich Twilling

Half Pint Brawlers on Spike TV
Aired 7/7/10

[Q1] The HPB appeared on a Los Angeles radio show. Puppet explained to the radio jock what they do for a living. As an example, they stapled a dollar bill to Turtle's ball sack...

They brought in Teo and the Tiny Trotters for the battle royal. The Trotters were wrestlers and basketball players. They played a game to get to know each other. They argued and almost fought as other players looked on in disbelief.

The game ended and they had a silent van ride to the next destination. Kato said he was in the business for a long time and no young punk was going to mouth off to him... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: A lot of tension between the two groups. I smell some stiff shots during the battle royal unless they can get on the same page.

The HPB tried to pass out fliers on the street, but it didn't go too well. They decided to stop on a random street and wrestle on the sidewalk. They then stepped in the ring to get ready for the battle royal.

Turtle was pissed because the Tiny Trotters did not know what the hell they were doing. One guy said he was in the business for eighteen years and then admitted he only wrestled twice.

Turtle took off and was upset because it was his name that was on the line. The rest of the crew tried to teach the Trotters how to work a basic battle royal... [C]

Twill's Two Cents: Tell you what, if looks could kill, Turtle would be on the hook for about eight murders. He looked absolutely irate. So, now they don't get along and the new guys are liars. This isn't going so well.

[Q2] Puppet came back and was pleasantly surprised at how well the Trotters picked it up. They banded together and everything seemed to be ready to go.

Puppet said Turtle was about to become an official Half Pint Brawler, but they wanted to set him up with a transvestite first. The on screen graphic said, "Zoey, Tranvestite," like it was his/her job. Zoey kissed Turtle on the lips and Turtle looked pissed...

Puppet was pumped because the LA crowd was hot. He said it was going to be a hardcore "royal rumble." Teo ended up winning the match after pinning Puppet after a Swanton. The show went off very well... [C]

Puppet bought Turtle a tattoo. Unfortunately, it was an 80s picture of Puppet and it was going on Turtle's ass. Puppet had Lionel Ritchie hair. He rocked it. Kato said he was proud of Turtle. Turtle acted pissed but they had a really good laugh.

"I've got a midget's face on my ass." Words to live by. Turtle is officially in the group now and I would hope so. Imagine Turtle explaining that one to a future wife or girlfriend? ...

Twill's Two Cents: Entertaining six weeks of shows with the HPB. I'll admit, if I wasn't covering it, I would have skipped watching it, but I was pleasantly surprised. The group has a lot of fun with each other, but they do show a nice camaraderie. On top of that, they are passionate about what they do, which I respect.